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Work Problems
Jim said that he felt very anxious and confused about his job. His simple question to me was whether he should hand in his notice now or wait until he found another job first.
The first session was spent with Jim telling me all about his work and how he was really good at it but that he could not face many more days. It gradually emerged that it was a job that he really loved doing and had a great aptitude for and he began to realise that his feelings seemed to centre around his managers and workmates and how he felt about them. I suggested that he delayed decisions about leaving until we had had time to look at where his anxieties were coming from, in future counselling sessions. He agreed to do this as he had begun to understand that there was a possibility of change within himself.
Over two more sessions we discovered by talking and with hypnosis that Jim had been raised in a very unforgiving environment. Some forgotten or suppressed incidents from childhood were remembered that supported this. He had internalised this way of being from his father and now he constantly demanded excellence of himself and of his colleagues at work and his anxiety seemed to centre around this. He began to think about how he was affecting his own son.
Using an approach to therapy called REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) we began to understand how these demands set up impossible conflicts in Jim's mind. He automatically demanded excellence in all things but his colleagues did not provide it and, worse still, their failures prevented him from being perfect. Their failures got in his way.
REBT (put simply) invites people who upset themselves with demands to start to change these demands to preferences. Demands are not rational as they will not always be met and this leads to anxiety, anger and withdrawal. Preferences are at least as likely to be met as demands but failure does not then have so many unhealthy feelings attached to it.
By talking and using exercises and homework Jim began to change his impossible demands consciously and subconsciously. He would now say, "I would prefer to do this work perfectly but if something or someone stops that happening it is unfortunate but not catastrophic - it happens!" He reported feeling much better about work and volunteered that his workmates who didn't know about his therapy said that he had become a much nicer person.
By the end of therapy (about 6 sessions in total) Jim had stopped talking about changing his job and, when asked, said that his quality of work, and his quality of life in general, had improved.
(This is an example of how hypnosis and cognitive therapy can be integrated within counselling to good effect)
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